


count to two and hold your hand

by cloverfields



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, background lexi/maddy ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 18:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20457818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloverfields/pseuds/cloverfields
Summary: rue spends an entire day deciphering 'i love you'





	count to two and hold your hand

**Author's Note:**

> this is so dumb forgive me

“What does it _mean_, though?” 

Rue sat across from an increasingly frustrated Lexi, who probably would rather spend her lunch break any other way than involving herself in her friend’s love life. 

When Rue awoke that morning to a text from Jules, she read it one, two, three times over - _‘love you <3’,_ the text read, sent at 2am after a long debate over the best anime lesbians. Her best friend had been set on getting Rue into her favourite shows, who had then quickly decided that Revolutionary Girl Utena was the height of Japanese animation. Jules disagreed - “Madoka and Homura are totally cuter, Rue!” 

Rue stared at the seven letters printed across her screen, her face hot and pyjamas suddenly unbearably uncomfortable. What does that even mean, _love you?_ Jules had sent her fair share of _love u_ and _ily_ and occasionally a drunk _LURV YA!!!11!!!!1_ But this? This was new. Thinking rationally, Rue knew it meant nothing; people tell their friends they love them all the time, it’s not even a full _I_ love you. Still, her ears burned red all morning. 

Lexi sighed. “Well what do you want it to mean?” 

“Seriously dude?” 

“Sorry.” 

Rue knew she shouldn’t be forcing her to help with this, but there was truly no better listener than Lexi. Besides, her weird unrequited friend crush thing was all over with – Lexi seemed more interested in someone else these days anyways. 

“What are you losers talking about?” Maddy said, ever eloquent, as she sat down opposite the pair. Her hair was tied up neatly, a few small strands falling across her cheeks. Lexi shifted in her seat. 

“Hey Maddy. Just figuring out if Jules is in love with me or if my heart’s gonna get obliterated into a million tiny pieces. Wanna help?” 

Maddy frowned at the screen in her hands for a few moments before passing the phone back to Rue. “You’re so fucking lame.” She turned to Lexi as Rue groaned - “Seriously, how do you put up with her shit all the time?” 

Lexi laughed loudly, ignoring her friend’s exasperated cry. “Um, you look nice today by the way! Is that a new – um – sweater?” 

“Oh! Yeah, actually, it is.” Maddy flushed and grinned. 

Groaning, Rue stood up. Useless. 

*

An hour passed and Rue thought of nothing but the weight of her phone in the pocket of her jeans. As her History teacher blathered on about last week’s homework assignment, she spared a glance across the classroom at Kat. She’d heard Jules talk about her a lot. 

_This is so stupid_, she thought. _No way. Don’t._ Then, not a minute later, “_Pssst_, Kat.” 

Kat looked up from her desk, eyes landing on Rue a moment later. “_What?_” she whispered back, leaning towards her. 

“Kat, concentrate please!” Kat coughed, embarrassed at being called out by the teacher, and straightened herself back into her seat. She looked back at Rue, mouthed a _sorry_. 

Rue feigned a smile and shrugged it off; Kat approached her after class to ask what she wanted, but by that time Rue had convinced herself that the idea was stupid and why the hell should Kat know what Jules was feeling. She laughed and said nothing. 

*

“What the hell is your problem tonight?” 

Rue sighed from her position on the couch, face pressed into the cushions and feet dangling over the arm. Gia smacked her back as she passed her - “Get up, you slob.” 

She lifted her head, glared at her sister before pulling her phone out of her pocket; she couldn’t bear to open it, knowing she Jules’ message remained unanswered and unexplained. Rue pictured the tiny black heart at the end of the text and felt dumb and dizzy at the thought. 

“Gia”, she started, realising as she spoke how pathetic it was to ask your preteen sister for dating advice. “Gia, would you text me saying you love me?” 

Gia looked vacantly at her for a moment, frowning - “Are you dying or something?” 

“I just mean like, would you say that? Like would you text me, hypothetically, saying you love me – correct spelling of _you_, by the way, no abbreviations. Like is that weird? Would you tell your best friend you love them?” 

Her sister gawked. “Rue,” she whispered carefully, “Are you on drugs again?” 

“Oh my God.” 

*

The next message from Jules came in at almost midnight. Rue squeaked, picked up her phone, put it down, and contemplated throwing it across the room and moving to a remote island somewhere so she never had to deal with this again, before picking the phone up again and opening it up to her chat with Jules. She read it once – _hey, didn’t see u today : ( _, u ok? - and then again, and then read the previous message again – to check it was still there, she reassured herself. She wasn’t being weird about it. 

After a moment’s consideration, Rue decided she needed to face facts, and accept that she totally was being weird about it, but now it was way too late to answer the message from earlier, but if she didn’t mention it she’d never know what Jules meant, and, again, this entire thought process was her being super fucking weird. Confrontation was the only way to solve this. With her heart in her throat, she cycled to Jules’, her skin bumpy from the cold and anxiety. 

Standing in the Vaughns’ garden, she couldn’t decide whether this was a little bit _Romeo and Juliet_, or more like an embarrassing high school cliché. _Look outside yr window_, she typed with shaking fingers; she contemplated, then added an _LMAO_ for good measure. 

There was a brief silence, a second when Rue realised that it was now past twelve and her friend could very well be asleep, until she heard the creak of old wood as Jules slid her bedroom window open. 

“Dude!” Jules whisper-shouted, smiling wide. “What are you doing here? Do you know how late it is?” 

Rue swallowed, ignored the anxiety bug eating away at her stomach. _This is still really stupid_, she realised. “I just,” she started, lowering the volume when Jules put a finger to her own lips, “I need to know what this text means!” She held up her phone screen uselessly. 

“Yeah, Rue, I’m like two stories up, I can’t read that.” 

“When you said you love me!” Her whispering has turned into frantic whisper-screams. 

In the dark, Rue saw the head tilt of Jules’ silhouette. “It means I love you?” 

“Like - romantically?” 

“Um - yeah?” 

“Oh.” The night air was suddenly warm and claustrophobic, but almost pleasantly so. “Okay.” 

Jules laughed like honey. “Was that all?” 

“I guess.” 

“You going home now?” 

“Sure.” Rue turned, pushing her bike to the garden gate. “Hey Jules?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Love you.” 

“Yeah, love you too, stupid.”

**Author's Note:**

> rue dumb as hell .... gotta love it :') canon MEXI in season 2 btw i'm speaking it into existence
> 
> title mangled from the lyrics to dkdk by fromis_9 bc i just know jules would love that song
> 
> talk to me on twt/cc!  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/dykezy)  
[cc](https://curiouscat.me/aitai-tai)


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